Wednesday Sept 15 2021
1:06AM
We have absolutely no idea why we do what we do. But standing here on the edge of this mountain, overseeing the beautiful sky that encompasses this beautiful view, I am lost in beauty. I hesitate to look down, tiny rocks crumble and fall as I attempt to get closer to the edge. Seeing tree tops as if they are the heads of ants. I know, that at one point I must walk this rope, bearing all the unknown things that must be endured. I hesitate. And it is due to my hesitation that today becomes the day I must walk. Fear grips my body. I am not prepared, but I’m soon reminded that no one ever is. The first steps in fact, are not the hardest to take. It is when you’re half way, suspended in disbelief, bearing the weight of what came before and what is to come, that are the hardest to take. It’s also there, at the heaviest point, holding all the psychological pressures of existing, that feel unbearable. You look down when you know you shouldn’t, at the trees once again, and ask yourself: what is this balancing act of existence, when you can merely be. Holding on to this constant will to continue, when at the end of the rope is death with open arms. You soon realize, that which only a few ever do. This tight rope of existence is merely a contraption of the mind. So I drop all the things that I held onto, watching them fall into the abyss below. I take one step off the rope, and see that the mountains are there to hold me close. And still, suspended between life and death, it seems the tight rope act is all we’ll ever know.
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