Thursday June 8 2023
5:04PM
i find myself constantly chasing
unattainable endings
chasing the chase itself
there are times where i try so hard
i forget what it means to not try at all
why are all great things behind the realm of irony
why is it so hard to define the i in me
wait
there's no i in me
except the eye through which i see
i can't help but play with words
i can't help dreaming
and envisioning
and fantasizing
about things that always feel out of reach
i sit in the cathedral of my mind
listen to myself preach
tired of pursuing things with effort
for it's always effortless
the things i need the most
it seems only in death do you stop trying
all this effort after effort
to pursue fleeting thoughts
that is not to say to stop trying
oh keep trying my love
but the truth is
behind these grey clouds
lie the greatest rays of light
waiting to shine down upon you
i no longer yearn for things to happen
i wish for things that do happen
to happen as they must
it took me a while to wrap my head around that
how you can do the most
how you can have the most beautiful and genuine love
by no longer trying to mold reality into this convoluted
sand castle that's always on the brink of destruction
instead
letting things unfold as it was always meant to fall.
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