Tuesday Sept 7 2021
12:32AM
One cannot escape absolute kindness, but what if one only knew rage? Driving home I had my windshield wipers on the highest setting, the rain was just hammering down. In that moment, all I could feel was rage. When we and my wife got married, the time you say I do, to everyones dismay, I raged. The time my first child was born, in the room where they hand you your child, I raged. I will probably rage even at my own funeral. But is there really something wrong with me? Why are people shocked that both extremes exist? We chase and praise people that are reflections of goodness, but deny that rage. The thing is I rage when the emotions are high, specifically when they’re great. My therapist asked me what comes to mind right before it all goes to rage, and all I could say is that it’s like seeing a part of the sky that is completely starless, black. Somehow in that emptiness I find rage. I’ve tried to tell everyone that it’s uncontrollable, but they always tell me it’s a big weakness of mine. In truth, I actually think it’s a strength. Because they always fail to tell the flip side of the story. That is, when in need of rage, I show love. When a driver shows me the finger, I smile. When someone cuts me off in a coffee shop lineup, I tell them thank you. Imagine if the world operated like that, wouldn’t we live in a better society? Instead of asking everyone to be kind, I say let them rage. At the most important times in life is when we need to feel how we really feel, why suppress it just because they can’t handle your flame. I’m tired of going to therapy, I think the world needs that instead. Maybe only then will they realize why they call me: Mr Rager.
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